I decided to make, and fully furnish, a new Xanga site. Why? Because I just wanted a new start, good excuse eh?
Anyway, I am not shutting this one down, it just will no longer be used. I only added the people whose blogs I read most often. So, if you want here is the link to my new page, add and subscribe =] I will be flattered if anyone actually does.
I will be updating it more often, with topics that aren't just technical rambling. Thanks!!
Here is the link: http://sammbobsquarepants.xanga.com/
I can't even tell you the last time I blogged about anything. I have really neglected Xanga.
Anyways the point of this blog is to kind of explain a thing or two. I am not sure how many of you know anyone who is bipolar or anyone who has any mood disorder. If you do I am sure you know a few factors of what to do and what not to do.
I am bipolar and am on medication that helps for the most part. Medication isn't magic and wont fix everything, especially overnight. I get into moods where I just want to be alone and talk online. I don't want to answer the phone. I don't want to have a face to face conversation. I just want to chill behind the keyboard of my computer or cell phone.
No matter how many times I tell people that and explain why they don't listen. Then they don't understand when I react the way that I do.
When I want to isolate myself one thing that I really cannot stand is questions. The more questions I am asked [except like what's up ect] the more mad I get. I will tell people to please not ask me questions or give them answers that will end the topic. They continue to dig and dig. Asking me "why" "how" ect. when I say I am in a bad mood. When I ask them to please drop it they wont. They just keep pushing and pushing until I snap. After I snap they don't understand why I am being so mean. Really if they would have listened it wouldn't have happened.
Dealing with a mood disorder is hard enough for me, I don't like making it hard on anyone else. I try my hardest to warn people and keep them from causing problems for both. They just refuse to listen.
I wish people would be more considerate of what I need on these days. I am very lucky to have a boyfriend who understands like no one else what I need and why I need it. I have never had that in a relationship before. He gets every little part of my mind and never gets offended. He does what I ask of him [which is never demanding].
I just hope to make an impact on some other people. I want to make an impact so they start to understand what they are dealing with. Don't shrug it off like it is no big deal. Do research. Not only for yourself, but to help your loved ones.
This was just random rambling. Thanks for reading.
Today I had to drop a doctor because he wasn't doing his job. Both myself as my mum are stressed about social security. My mom is in tears trying to figure all of this stuff out.
I am trying to stay stress free. It is very hard.
Keep me in your thoughts. I hope all of this works out for the best. *sigh* xoxo
So I took my break from the internet and now I am back, I was going to give it up for lent to help me have some time to myself. I decided to come back early because I figured a lot out in just a week or so.
I got over my bad break up easier then I thought. I realized that there were a lot of flaws in him I never wanted to accept. I tried to make him more perfect then he actually was. He also was handling the break up in a very immature manner.
I am loving my psychologist. I think he is helping a lot and I really enjoy it. He has taught me a lot of meditation techniques. I think that is a majority of what helped me out.
I also had a lot of time to think about random things. Like that I really want out of a relationship. To not rush into anything and get to know a boy very well before hand. I think I should have a good idea of what they are like before hand. That probably all sounds like common sense. Haha judge me if you will I don't care.
Anyways I have been spending a lot of time reading and working on photography. I have read a few books in the past week that I really enjoyed. I have tried to clean my room and keep it clean. I have a horrible habit of piling things in chairs xD Updating my blog was one of the things on my Wednesday To Do list.
I would also like to thank each and every one of you who left me helpful tips. I really appreciate how caring and thoughtful everyone I have run into on here is. Thank you very much =]
Well I am done rambling for today. I have the rest of my list to get to!
Talking about myself isn't on my favorites list. I am 18 years old and I live in Ohio. I am emotional, artistic, and I am very indecisive. Blogging is one of my favorite hobbies. I never have anything interesting to talk about, but I find it fun anyway. I am probably the most sarcastic person you will ever have a conversation with. I take things too seriously sometimes and other times not serious enough. I am nothing close to perfect and I don't mind.
I love
Cupcakes Traveling Books Animals Joshua Detroit My family Technology Blogging Sleeping Long walks Thunderstorms Art Modeling Photography Beaches Photoshop Cartoons Makeup Fashion Music Love Starbucks Zebras Japan Italian food Italian anything
I hate
Liars Fakes Cheats Drama Feet Clowns The dark Cold Meat Animal cruelty Crying Illness Death Ohio Dry skin Snow Extreme weather Bugs
